Why you should always be nice to people.

Tonight I had one of those experiences that I am REALLY not going to miss about Seattle. I was going to Peso's on Queen Anne to meet up with a couple friends, and all in all, driving around 4 blocks repeatedly, I finally found a parking space after a half hour. (I can't even tell you how many "cannot park here between 6 pm-12 am" signs I saw, and how many people poorly parked with just under the amount of space I needed left between cars) It was a frustrating experience anyway, knowing that my friends were enjoying cocktails and I was cursing the ever-tedious Seattle parking war. 


To make matters worse, when I finally did spy that elusive open space and shifted my car into reverse, the SUV behind me stayed right on my tail, didn't go around or make any attempt to back up. After waiting a few seconds, I realized they were not going to move, so I sped up in anger & spotted another spot about a block up. And what do you know, the same SUV is behind me. I shift my car into reverse again, and again, no effort to make the parallel parking task any easier for me. Then, the straw that broke the camel's back, the SUV pulled up next to me, with windows rolled down, and its beanie-clad occupants proceeded to flip me off and yell at me. A. That would have made me upset anyway and B. After spending 30 minutes of my evening searching for a place to put my car, that was the last thing I needed.


I know they were just hot-headed strangers and that I didn't do anything wrong, or at least anything that warranted that reaction, but it still hurt my feelings. I stayed angry about it until I finally got in the door at Peso's, sat down and took my first sip of alcohol. I swear, alcohol was invented for moments like that when you just need some of the pent up feelings you have (hurt, anger, sadness) to go away, even if just for a minute. And even though my temporarily wounded feelings are back to normal, I am still bothered by those two peoples' inconsiderate and rude behavior.


It got me thinking - to them, I may have just been someone who had left my apartment in Seattle and found the space right away, or someone who had left work downtown at 7:30 and was meeting people up for drinks at 8. They had no idea that I was someone who had just spent an hour in the car, half an hour driving from the Eastside to Seattle and the additional 30 minutes searching for a parking space. They didn't know that I would be predisposed to get extra hurt or angry by their actions. Which is why, if you ask me, you should always air on the side of caution when it comes to the way you treat people.


Maybe not "air on the side of caution", but never assume that the person you are interacting with, at a grocery store checkout or a car repair shop, can handle the things you dish out. In my opinion, unless someone has done something downright unacceptable or irresponsible (like driven drunkenly into your property or intentionally harmed you or deliberately made you feel unsafe) there is no reason to lash out. They might have gotten laid off earlier in the day or had a family tragedy occur over the weekend or maybe they woke up on the wrong side of the bed - there are so many reasons for people making small mistakes in their jobs or not acting entirely cordial to their peers. You can't just assume that it is a personality flaw is to blame for their actions. (Unless it happens repeatedly, but I am more talking about chance encounters in this scenario).


Some food for thought. Maybe Flower (the adorable skunk in Bambi, for those of you who are far removed from your childhood film collection) was right when he said "If don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all". Oh the wisdom we can take from such simple phrases. If only people listened.


♥mb. 

Why I love country music.

I recently started to play the guitar. My fingers are learning how to become callused and thus hurt less when they press the strings, and as I type this now I can feel them becoming more resilient. I have been around acoustic guitars my whole life. My dad used to play to me when I was younger, my cousins were learning to play all through my teen years. My favorite memories of hanging out with my family consist of everyone in a small room, two or three people with guitars, singing along to the simple music. I like nothing more than laying on a couch, feet up on the arm rest, just listening to the sounds that come out of that beautiful instrument.

I'm actually surprised that it took me so long to want to learn how to play myself. But I can tell you that my obsession with Taylor Swift songs, and just country music in general, led me to the decision to pick up the instrument. I would hear a song on the radio, listen only to the guitar, and think "I want to learn to play this". The song in particular that I often credit as the reason I wanted to learn to play is "Breathe" by Taylor Swift. I think its absolutely beautiful, and I want to make that music myself and sing it in my own voice, which at 24 I think I am just now growing into.

Now, I am not entirely picky when it comes to music. If there aren't screaming vocals (which I refer to often as "I hate my life" music) or anything too dissonant, I usually like it. I decide if I like a song within 15 seconds of tuning in. (If only I could make all decisions that fast...) I like hip hop, rap, bubble gum pop, classic rock...but country is the genre that really touches me, reaches into my soul and finds deeper meaning. Country equals comfort to me - its relatable, beautifully worded (usually) and just so much more genuine than most other types of music out there. And it is for that reason I get so frustrated at so many people's apparent disdain of country music.

The common joke is "What happens when you play a country song backward?" Answer, "You get your dog back, you get your wife back, you get your truck back..." Rascal Flatts even did a song about that joke. But really, if that is the reason people don't like it, I have a bone to pick with them. For one thing, those kinds of songs are only a part of a whole. And they usually aren't meant to be taken seriously, despite what people may choose to think. Additionally, and more importantly, if it really is the "dumb lyrics" people don't like, why are rap and pop and classic rock so much more popular? Is it better to sing about mistreating women, empty sex, outward appearance and drugs? Not that there haven't been great songs that have stemmed from these topics, but if its good lyrics you are looking for, I don't know why you wouldn't love country.

Most country songs are about someone. And usually you can think of a time in your life when you were that someone, good or bad. They are about love and relationships and friendships and loyalty and becoming better people. They are encouraging and relatable and the kinds of songs that fit one or two moods so perfectly that you know the reason iTunes has a "repeat" button was created for moments like these.

I just saw the movie Country Strong tonight, and of a few very quotable moments, this was the one that really struck me:

"Don't be afraid to fall in love. It's the only thing in life that matters. The ONLY thing. Fall in love with as many things as possible."

I really don't think anything could sum up the way I feel about country music better than that. When it comes down to it, they are all songs about love. Loving someone else, loving a place, loving a feeling, or even loving yourself.

I hope that as these fingers of mine grow harder and my skills on the guitar grow broader and more refined, that I will be able to share some of these songs with the people I love, or just play them for myself when the moment feels right. And who knows, maybe I will create a few of my own.


♥mb.

Changes.

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I have spent the last about year desperately searching for the right beginning to my career. And I am happy to announce that after many restless nights and hours of stress, I have finally found it. I am so excited. Its with a great company (they even have a casual dress code, BONUS!) in a great area. The thing is, its in California.


Don't get me wrong - thats fantastic. I have been feeling for a while like the right step for me might be moving away somewhere different. I mean, I have lived here since I was 13, I went to college here, and despite about 6 months leave in New York and Rome, I haven't really left since 8th grade. For a kid that moved 4 times between the ages of 9 and 12, that seems like an extremely long time. Besides, Orange County is basically my second home, and for those years where uprooting was commonplace, the closest thing I really had to a true home. I have been to Disneyland more times than I can count. I loved "The OC", but knew that Newport Beach is nothing like how they portrayed it. I adore Balboa Bars. 


But then there are the things I am unfamiliar with. The fact that there are at least 27 freeways and the speed limit is actually 10 miles above what the signs say. That I don't know what city I am going to live in. That I have no idea what it is like to live on my own income. And I find these things thrilling, but at the same time completely terrifying.


At the current moment, I have so much on my plate that I am paralyzed and writing a blog and watching television in lieu of getting myself ready to leave Seattle for the first time in almost 2 years, but for this time its not just for 3 months. This time, my move isnt temporary, it doesn't have an expiration date - this time, it is indefinite. 


And so I sit here, mulling things over in my head, wondering how in the world I am going to pack up my life, see the people who I am going to miss the most, spend enough time with my dogs and arrange all the necessary logistics to leave in just one week.


Being a grown up is kind of hard. 


♥mb.