A pair of neglected shoes.

I have this pair of fabulous shoes. Out of the many pairs of shoes that I own, these ones are by far my favorite. They are fairly new, only been worn twice, and have spent most of their life in the trunk of my car, as on my sister's birthday my feet hurt so bad that I had to leave the bar we were at, run to my car, change into my Rainbows and leave them to hang out until I decided to take them inside. (Which, as fate would have it, was yesterday.)


I finally brought them in from their long hibernation in my dark trunk space, set them on my dining room table (a perfect place for shoes, I know), and just admired them. Peep toe, cut out instep, black silk flowers and a delicate stiletto heel - I felt so bad for hiding them from the world in my car for so long. I hardly ever wear heels, but I do really love them. And I started to feel like this pair of shoes in particular was just way too beautiful to spend it's life inside a closet.


You may think all these revelations are silly. And maybe they are. Of course, I understand that fabulous shoes can't possibly comprehend their own beauty. But like shoes, neither can most women. And unlike shoes, we have self-awareness. So why is it so hard to feel good about ourselves?


Women have a huge advantage over men in the fact that we can change our look on a daily basis. We have eyeshadow and mascara and curling irons - even our clothing options are much more diverse; today will it be a dress? leggings? heels? flats? belt? And don't even get me started on hair (braid? no braid? bangs? pinned back?) and accessories (chunky ring? studs or dangles? 1 bracelet or 2?). Men literally wake up, shower & throw on some variation of pants, shirt, jacket and lace up shoes. No wonder we have so many issues - just thinking about what to wear can be stressful.


Not to mention the fact that society (and men) expect all of us to look like Victoria Secret models. Well, maybe not expect, but that is the ideal standard set for us by Hollywood, advertisements, magazines, media of all kinds. We are constantly criticizing each other in things like E!'s "Fashion Police" and Us Weekly's "who wore it best?". If you are a female existing in America and have never had any body image or insecurity issues, you are a far stronger person than I.


The really ridiculous part is that a. the things we wear on our bodies are extraneous and b. our bodies exist to let us live, not to receive constant hate and criticism. I, like many 20-something girls, have struggled with body image issues my entire life. My first real breakthrough in getting myself away from this negative self-talk came when I was down in So Cal visiting my grandparents.


My grandmother has been suffering from congestive heart failure for a while now, but it is starting to be much more limiting than before. At first, she couldn't get around without the help of a walker, and now she needs a wheelchair. She needs assistance to even get up out of bed. And it pains me to see her like that, I can't even comprehend what it must feel like to be so immobile. In realizing her physical limitations, I suddenly felt very thankful for my healthy, albeit fairly out of shape, body. And that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.


We spend so much time obsessing over "muffin-tops" and the size of our calf muscles when what we should be doing is thanking our bodies for functioning normally and supporting us 24/7. I realized that if I wanted to run 3 miles, I could do it. If I wanted to dance a riverdance, I could do it. If I wanted to climb Mount Rainier, with a little training, I could do it. So why is it that I have spent so much time hating the very thing that allows me to live my life?


It starts to seem trivial and silly when you look at it in that light. Our bodies are just casings for our personalities anyway. The fact that there is so much judgement based on physical appearances is just the product of a nation of insecure people all trying to prove they are worth something. But what if I told you you didn't have to prove it? What if I told you that most of your negativity comes from you and from no one else? What if I told you that beauty doesn't come in a pre-fabricated box like we are led to believe?


So get up, dust yourself off like that beautiful pair of shoes and flaunt yourself. I truly believe that inner beauty creates outer beauty and that if you feel good about yourself, other people will want to be around you. It isn't always easy, just like wearing heels isn't always easy. But, let me tell you, you look a lot more put together with that gorgeous pair of stilettos than you do with tattered converse. (Not that there is anything wrong with tattered converse...) 


Whoever you are, own it. It's when we start to radiate confidence despite everything that we truly start to be beautiful.


♥mb.