Why you should always be nice to people.

Tonight I had one of those experiences that I am REALLY not going to miss about Seattle. I was going to Peso's on Queen Anne to meet up with a couple friends, and all in all, driving around 4 blocks repeatedly, I finally found a parking space after a half hour. (I can't even tell you how many "cannot park here between 6 pm-12 am" signs I saw, and how many people poorly parked with just under the amount of space I needed left between cars) It was a frustrating experience anyway, knowing that my friends were enjoying cocktails and I was cursing the ever-tedious Seattle parking war. 


To make matters worse, when I finally did spy that elusive open space and shifted my car into reverse, the SUV behind me stayed right on my tail, didn't go around or make any attempt to back up. After waiting a few seconds, I realized they were not going to move, so I sped up in anger & spotted another spot about a block up. And what do you know, the same SUV is behind me. I shift my car into reverse again, and again, no effort to make the parallel parking task any easier for me. Then, the straw that broke the camel's back, the SUV pulled up next to me, with windows rolled down, and its beanie-clad occupants proceeded to flip me off and yell at me. A. That would have made me upset anyway and B. After spending 30 minutes of my evening searching for a place to put my car, that was the last thing I needed.


I know they were just hot-headed strangers and that I didn't do anything wrong, or at least anything that warranted that reaction, but it still hurt my feelings. I stayed angry about it until I finally got in the door at Peso's, sat down and took my first sip of alcohol. I swear, alcohol was invented for moments like that when you just need some of the pent up feelings you have (hurt, anger, sadness) to go away, even if just for a minute. And even though my temporarily wounded feelings are back to normal, I am still bothered by those two peoples' inconsiderate and rude behavior.


It got me thinking - to them, I may have just been someone who had left my apartment in Seattle and found the space right away, or someone who had left work downtown at 7:30 and was meeting people up for drinks at 8. They had no idea that I was someone who had just spent an hour in the car, half an hour driving from the Eastside to Seattle and the additional 30 minutes searching for a parking space. They didn't know that I would be predisposed to get extra hurt or angry by their actions. Which is why, if you ask me, you should always air on the side of caution when it comes to the way you treat people.


Maybe not "air on the side of caution", but never assume that the person you are interacting with, at a grocery store checkout or a car repair shop, can handle the things you dish out. In my opinion, unless someone has done something downright unacceptable or irresponsible (like driven drunkenly into your property or intentionally harmed you or deliberately made you feel unsafe) there is no reason to lash out. They might have gotten laid off earlier in the day or had a family tragedy occur over the weekend or maybe they woke up on the wrong side of the bed - there are so many reasons for people making small mistakes in their jobs or not acting entirely cordial to their peers. You can't just assume that it is a personality flaw is to blame for their actions. (Unless it happens repeatedly, but I am more talking about chance encounters in this scenario).


Some food for thought. Maybe Flower (the adorable skunk in Bambi, for those of you who are far removed from your childhood film collection) was right when he said "If don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all". Oh the wisdom we can take from such simple phrases. If only people listened.


♥mb.