About growing up...

Growing-up is hard.

A "fun" hard, well...some of it. I could really do without that whole "tight budget" thing and I really miss my dogs, but for the most part I am embracing this semi-new independence with wide open arms.

Lately though, I have found this whole "adult" thing to be kind of aggravating. The fact that the DMV is only open from 9 to 5 during the week, for example, is something that has repeatedly been the subject of many a venting phone call to my mom the past couple of months. (I have been 3 times since May and have yet to accomplish switching my registration.) I find myself cursing under my breath about things like this - "I can't believe I (insert swear word here) have to spend my lunch hour on the phone with Triple AAA" and "seriously, I always have to get the (insert swear word here) first appointment of the day at the doctor"...you know you've (insert swear word here) been there.

Lately, I have found it incredibly difficult to work full-time, feed myself, write regularly, stay active and maintain some semblance of a social life. For someone who has only been living in this grown-up world for a measly 6 months (a tiny drop in the ocean of the rest of my career, I am still very much adjusting) I occasionally grow very tired of  being an adult and all the responsibilities that come with it. I have a weekly battle with myself over whether "not starving" is a good enough reason to get off the couch and go to the grocery store. (To date, "not starving" has always won.)

At times like this when I feel exhausted trying to just live my life, as hard as it can be, I am comforted by taking a step back and realizing that at end the end of each day, I am sleeping peacefully in my big comfortable bed in a bedroom I have decorated to my personal "T". At the end of each day, I am still me, I still have wonderful parents and family and friends that feel like family. I have Saturdays spent out in the California sunshine and Sunday mornings spent "puppy Skyping" (yes, you heard me right) to look forward to. Every morning, I have a hot mug of coffee and a half-hour at work before the craziness of the day sets in (almost always...) to check-in with myself and prepare for my day (usually by browsing the latest posting on cupcakes & cashmere). I always have those one or two songs to listen to that never fail to center me and help clear my head. Even if my morning has to begin at a place like the DMV getting in arguments with the ever-optimist staff or the doctor's office getting prescriptions for a sinus infection, there are so many things to make my day brighter, more positive. So many silver linings.

I am young. This is the time in my life when I am supposed to be able to do it all. And Lord knows, I am trying. But on a night like this, all I expect of myself is to watch Sex & The City reruns, drink a cup of tea and engage in an activity that has always been one of the most effective therapeutic releases for me.

Writing.

♥mb.