Thoughts on forever.

Last weekend, I was the Maid of Honor in my cousin's (sister's) wedding, which resulted not only in one of the most emotional days (for me) on record (I tried to hold it together so that people woudln't be chatting about "that hysterically crying bridesmaid" over cocktails at the reception) but also in one of my favorite pictures of all time:

©meghan brittany.

One of the things I kept thinking about going into this wedding was that someday, we would sit down on the living room floor during family get-togethers and show our kids the pictures of us at her wedding. This photo is much more than a picture to me - this is a captured memory of me with someone I have known my entire life, that will live in some kind of frame in my every one of my residences for the rest of my life. This is the one I will pull out time and time again and say "this is what we looked like on your/her/your "aunt's" wedding day" or, really far in the future, "this is what we looked like at your age".

The funniest part about her September 3rd wedding, was that I had two other friends get married on the same exact day. I would have attended each had they been on separate dates - the way that worked out was kind of funny. (But, I guess on the plus side, I saved myself a whole lot of moolah in not having to book 3 flights home to Seattle!) It was just so strange to me that three ladies in my life changed their last names on the same exact day.

I am dumbfoudned by the fact that, in marriage, one moment you are an independant entity, and as soon as you are "pronounced man and wife" you suddenly become only a part to a whole. You are no longer "first name, last name" and "first name, last name". You are THE "last names". People will address things to "Mr. and Mrs. Last Name" instead of "first name" and "first name". I understand that certain people my age are ready for that. But I could honestly not think of anything more scary at this point in my life.

I know that my opinions about this only stands because I haven't found "the one" yet. I don't think I've even found the "two" or the "three" at this point. I guess, for me right now, at 24 and a half years old, forever just seems like a really, really long time. And honestly, it's hard for me to imagine finding someone that I like enough to spend my forever with.

That man is going to have to be someone really, truly special. Somoene that knows which buttons to push and which buttons will lead directly to "you really hurt my feelings". Someone who loves my family and dogs and college footall as much as I do. Someone who is just the right amount of similar to me as he is different from me that it fits. And who, perhaps most importantly, loves breakfast as much as I do.

I'm pretty sure that I haven't met him yet. And sometimes, it seems like I never will. But instead of viewing this time as "loneliness" like so many people do, I will choose to view it as an extended lease on my independance that is special and to be enjoyed. There will be plenty of time for shared beds and closets and the rest of the togetherness that comes with sharing your life with someone.

image cred: www.pinterest.com

I only have this time right now to be young and free. I mean, countries spend centuries fighting for freedom, and I've already got it. It would be a missed opportunity to not be thrilled about that.

Forever will be there when I am ready for it. Thank goodness it's more patient than me.

♥mb.