Stuff is Just Stuff.

Living in a "material world" it is often difficult to remember this fact. We all lust after things we want, we make Christmas lists every November, we check our account balances to see if we can afford whatever the flavor of the week is. And don't get me wrong - I see nothing wrong with a little materialism. But I also think that its important to note that your things don't define you or make you better than anyone else. Your possessions are there to enhance your life, not to create a blueprint for how you live it.

I used to be the kind of person that absolutely FEARED losing things. No matter how big or small, if I placed an ounce of importance on something, losing it made me lose my mind. (Something about that Type A personality I think, hate having things out of order.) I would feel a physical void in my life until I replaced it. Like that void was sitting there, laughing at me, and making fun of me for being so irresponsible to misplace whatever it was that I lost. This fear was so real that if I couldn't find my car within 5 minutes of walking out of the mall, I would start to irrationally believe that it was stolen while I was thumbing through the racks at Nordy's. I have hit the PANIC!!! button on multiple occasions, partially because it seemed like a logical response to the way I was feeling inside. 

Now, I still absolutely hate losing things, but I think my response to it happening has become a lot more rational and accepting, and I can pinpoint this change to sometime in January of this year. I was traveling between New York and Washington DC by train, and trying to juggle my handbag, my oversized shoulder tote and a suitcase too big for a 10 day trip, even making it to the restroom from the train track had been a minor miracle. (I never have been one to skimp on the packing.) I washed my hands, flustered, wanting nothing more than to get to my friends apartment (another 30 minutes away via subway, half of my closet in tow) and collapse onto a couch with a beer.

As I often do when I wash my hands (and I am distracted) I take off my jewelry that gets in the way during the process. I cannot tell you how many rings I have lost doing exactly that. On this particular winter afternoon, the forgotten object was a bracelet a couple of my closest friends during my Rome study abroad had brought me back from Paris. They bought 3 bracelets near the Sacre Coeur, one for each of us, and even though it was simple and inexpensive, I adored it. Light lilac, small silver flowers covered its entirety, always got twisted up on itself...rarely a day went by when it didn't don my right wrist.

Needless to say, when I realized what I had done, I was devastated. I felt as if I had not only lost a cheap Parisian bracelet, but also a token of friendship that I had cherished so much. I almost felt as if I had let down the friends who had gotten it for me due to my absentmindedness. Then lightbulb: "Meghan", I thought, "It's just a thing. Its replaceable. Dispensable. Your life will go on". 

Now it might not seem like it, but this was a monumental realization for me. Realizing that a material thing was indeed just a thing, and not some representation of a higher emotional state, was life-changing. I have a habit of assigning too much significance to insignificant items, and hence have a hard time getting rid of almost anything, let alone losing anything. But in that moment I realized that losing things, no matter how big, small or emotionally attached to them I am, doesn't really matter in the long run.

Stuff is just stuff after all. If you were to lose your suitcase en route to Southern Cal or get your car stolen outside of the mall or simply misplace a token of love and friendship from a confidant, nothing about you changes. Except for maybe a momentary mourning for the loss of the object in question, you will wake up tomorrow morning healthy, vibrant and alive despite its absence.

I think this is especially important around the holidays. We get so caught up, as a country and as individuals, on the material side of Christmas and even of Thanksgiving, piling the gifts under the tree and covering the table with an amount of food sufficient to feed 10 underprivileged families. Its important to separate yourself from the physical things and really feel lucky to be surrounded by so many blessings.

Soak it in. You have people that love you, people that would do anything for you and people who can't imagine life without you. And reveling in that is so much more satisfactory than reveling in all your stuff.

♥mb.