"Cancer"

One of my favorite things about living in Southern California is finally being close to my family. I have missed out on a lot by always being so far away, and it feels pretty good to be able to make up for lost time and get to see everyone often. This Sunday, my cousin's beautiful baby girl was having a dedication ceremony - I have been waiting anxiously ever since she was born in October to meet her, and of course jumped at the chance.

The dedication was in Ontario, about 40 minutes from where I live. I arrived there a little early, wandered around the church for a few minutes trying to find the entrance before running into my cousin (not the one with the new daughter, if you don't know, I have about 75 cousins.) I said hello to everyone, gave them hugs and answered questions about my new home and my new job...the usual greetings you'd expect to be exchanged between family who haven't seen each other in a while

There were, however, a couple faces I didn't recognize in the small crowd that had gathered for the event. One of whom was introduced to me by my aunt as her stepdaughter. She was leaning on crutches, so making conversation I casually asked "what happened to you?" Her answer completely blind-sighted me - nonchalantly, without skipping a beat, she replied: "cancer"

I immediately regretted asking the question and started kicking myself for not remembering those posts on Facebook I'd seen a while back about my cousin asking everyone to pray for her ill stepsister. I was horribly embarrassed having no idea what to say. "I'm sorry!" was the only thing I could think of that was even close to appropriate. "It's ok!" she said "I built a bridge and got over it." In that moment I truly admired someone I had known for approximately a minute and a half.

It got me thinking - we all have our crosses to bear, why can't we all be that upfront about it? What are we so afraid of? And why can't we all be that at peace with the situations life gets us into?

For me personally, my food allergies are my largest insecurity when it comes to meeting new people. I always assume that once someone learns what I can't eat, they will have no interest in learning anything else about me. Which is completely ridiculous. I'm not defined by those things - they are just a part of me. And in no way, shape or form do they shape who I am.

Her bold answer to my seemingly insignificant question really inspired me - I think there is a hugely important lesson that I, as well as anyone else, can take away from her fearless proclamation to a complete stranger. And that lesson is that not one of us on this Earth is without insecurities or issues or illness, and why not just own the things that we have to deal with? There really is no advantage in hiding those things from the world, other than a feeling of loneliness and self-pity. We only get one life, and to waste it feeling sorry for ourselves and being scared of what other people will think of us is no way to live it.

From now on, I'm going to try to be more upfront with people about the things that I'm scared to tell them. I'm going to embrace the things that give me pain, emotionally and physically, because we are given the struggles we are given for a reason: to become stronger and to help the people in our lives become stronger as a result. And even when those things really suck, wishing they were different won't make them better, it will only make you crazy.

Life isn't about being scared and timid. It's about telling the world who you are, letting it love you for you and knowing that you left the field having played your heart out.

Don't be afraid to live. We are all a little damaged, and that's what makes us so beautiful.

♥mb.