Why happy tears are beautiful.

It's no secret: I am a very (very) emotional person.

As in, "cries when she sees a cute dog" emotional. I cry at the same moments every single time I watch "Tangled" (yes, as in the Disney movie.) A good friend told me she was engaged this past week, and I told her that she had better invest in an industrial strength mop because throughout all of her wedding festivities, I am going to be a gooey little puddle that she will have to constantly be mopping off the floor. I was only half kidding.

Sure, like anyone, I cry when I'm sad. But I find myself, more often than not, crying because I am overwhelmed with happy emotions. I like to explain it like this: "sometimes, you are just so happy that some of it has to come out as tears". I am a self-proclaimed "emotional cupcake" and damn proud of it. At my cousin's sister's wedding last summer, I was the maid of honor and upon setting foot down the aisle, waterworks ensued. That was basically me throughout the entire ceremony. After the wedding & reception were over, I was talking to her new mother-in-law (a wonderful woman who I am so glad is now a part of my big & ever growing family) I made a comment about how much I cry, how emotional I am. Her response? "Me too, and I love it that way." I thought that was so beautiful. And so very true.

I recently stumbled upon this quote by Zooey Deschanel - an actress who I'm not sure I'd mind entirely switching lives with - and it absolutely sums up how I feel about this emotional mushy puddle that I melt into when something touches my heart:

It's like she took the words out of my mouth. Not everyone understands it. It has its critics. But guess what else? We who feel this way have a ridiculously high capacity for love, love for all things. People, puppies, sugar, coffee, places, restaurants, sweaters, you name it. We allow ourselves to be affected by the things that bring us joy and we truly embody "live life to the fullest" when a lot of people simply say it.

Emotions are beautiful and a huge part of what makes this life worth living. So you should never be afraid to cry.

♥mb.

Mid-year Resolutions.

As I made so clear in a post back in December 2011, I am not the biggest fan of New Year's Eve. Nor do I really believe in making so called "resolutions" to implement post-midnight. I will admit, I did make a couple resolutions for 2012: A. to perfect cat-eye eyeliner (something I am happy to say on which I am making progress) and B. to finally sing "Apologize" at a karaoke bar, hand gestures & interpretive dance included. Obviously, I take myself very seriously come the New Year. Not.

I am much more a believer in goals that you make because of something you want or to perpetuate something you enjoy, rather than the calendar turning from December to January. I like goals that I begin to implement on a random weeknight - in this case, a random Monday in July.

My mom has been out of town for the past 5 days, and as a result, my poor, helpless (joking...) little corgis have had to spend 9 hours during the day locked up in the kitchen. To help compensate for putting them in "puppy jail" for the majority of the day the past few workdays, I have either taken them to the dog park (something we have to call the "pumpkin patch" around them or they get so excited they don't quite know what to do with themselves) or for little walks in a community park across the street from my apartment complex. Not only does it help them run some of their willies out, but I've also found it extremely satisfying and enjoyable. At the dog park (ahem, pumpkin patch) I get to meet adorable puppies and new people, and in the neighborhood park I get a little exercise, fresh air, and quality time with my tail wagging (well, in Bear's case, figuratively) babies. I think these evening jaunts might be just as beneficial to me as they are to them.

After tonight's light stroll, I decided to make some "July 23rd, 7 Months Into The New Year" resolutions: more walks. More outside after work. More ignoring my "tired" to indulge my puppies' "I need to get out of the house". So often we get caught up in our work week and just want to collapse at the end of the day with a glass of wine and whatever happens to be queued up on Netflix at the moment, so this is me resolving to do exactly the opposite.

Most of the time :)

♥mb.

happy.

I am happy to report that I am having an absolutely fabulous weekend.

At a time in my life when I still feel like the majority of my friends live in the "frozen North" (aka, Seattle) it is nice to be reminded that there are people who love me and like spending time with me down here as well. I suppose I always know it, but I tend to spend a lot more time missing the people who aren't here instead of really enjoying the people who are. And they are no less important, by all means. The only thing that separates them from the people at "home" (which one is my home, anyway??) is the time I've yet to spend with them and the memories I've yet to make. It has much more to do with my own personal shift in focus; on the here, the now - making this place become as integral to my life as Seattle has been.

Plus, California is splendid. And I think my new hobby is writing on my patio with a glass of white wine...

♥mb.

No rush to the altar.

Confession: I am a 20-something who is completely freaking out.

About all the engagements/weddings/babies/home-buying happening by my peers. Friends, family, acquaintances whose weddings I stalk shamelessly on Facebook. (On a completely related note, three different people on my Facebook newsfeed are getting married tomorrow...aaaaahhhh.) It’s terrifying me to my very core. I constantly see a stream of photos of weddings or sparkly diamonds or newly purchased homes whereas I post pictures of my dogs and the pretty food that I eat. #winning

Currently, I see the following pros to being married:

A.      Someone to help bring in groceries (they are heavy)

B.      Someone to watch sports with during the week (cuz who wants to watch baseball alone)

C.      Never having to sleep alone (not that I mind sleeping alone, I mostly am – yes, at 25 – still very    much afraid of the dark)

I also can see the benefits to having a pretty, sparkly rock (engagement ring), a super fun party with all my closest friends & family (wedding) and a lovely tropical vacay somewhere exotic (honeymoon). At the last wedding I attended –after being physically forced to go up as one of the “single ladies” – I could have caught the bouquet (it's logical trajectory ended in my hands) but instead ran away from it like it was trying to hurt me. In essence: I could not be LESS ready for a marriage.

But that doesn’t mean I am any less unsettled by the fact that people my age – even younger – are. We’ve always been so even – grade school, soccer teams, high school, Prom, track meets, college, Greek system, graduation – and then all of a sudden, we are on all different levels. When did this happen? And why can’t everyone just stop it already until I’ve had time to catch my breath & subsequently, catch up?

The truth is, it is scary. It sometimes makes me think that I somewhere along the lines missed the memo that I needed to meet the man of my dreams, get married, have a baby & own a home before I’m 30. What about that part where I am still trying to find myself at 25 and some change? We mustn’t skip over that step. I'm sure that someday, my wedding will be the happiest day of my life (it might surpass the day the Huskies upset USC in 2009, we will see) and that being a wife is going to sound pretty great to me, but that day certainly is not today. I remind myself that I am young. That I only have this time in my life to be free and selfish and make decisions solely based around me and no one else. My bedroom décor is my own. I don’t have to share a closet with anyone. If there are 5-6 empty shampoo bottles in my shower, the only person that concerns is me. I can decorate with nail polish bottles and sparkly, colorful hair ties.

My life is my own. And I’m not really ready to give that up yet.

♥mb.

No fireworks.

Tonight, there are no fireworks for me.

Not because there aren't any, but just because I wasn't feeling up to it. I may have been overtired or slipped some well-disguised gluten, but I just didn't have it in me to trek somewhere to watch pyrotechnics explode in the sky. In fact, about the only thing I did have in me was the energy to devour the better part of two In-N-Out fry orders covered in ketchup. At least I celebrated the eating part of the 4th.

It's something I think is funny about holidays - there is this status quo in society that you have to have fun plans/drink lots of beer/have the best day EVER! when, in reality, these holidays come every year. If I don't feel good on this 4th of July and would rather spend the evening watching South Park on my couch with my dogs, it's ok - 365 days from now (366 in a leap year) this holiday will come again. The fireworks will come again. The burgers, Americana music and ridiculously patriotic outfits you can only wear in support of USA sports or to a country concert will still be there in my closet. And maybe next year I will feel more up to it.

Besides, the fact that this 4th of July may be significantly less celebratory than past ones doesn't mean I love America or appreciate my freedom any less. And also, the Olympics start in 23 days and you bet your ass I will be making up for my lackluster Independence Day with public displays of America love come July 27th.

♥mb.

"M" is for "Monday". And "messy".

They say that imperfection is beauty. That must mean my life has been pretty beautiful lately.

I have been having moment after moment of, to put it nicely, "imperfections". My room is a disaster, I haven't done laundry in at least 3 weeks and my lunch today was pretzels & peanut butter cups...at least I also had a peach?

The fact of the matter is, sometimes, you just have those times where chocolate is the only food that sounds edible to you. Or that despite your yoga bag packed & ready to go in the trunk of your car, you just aren't feeling up to it. And also, it's Monday. And well, that just seems like as good an excuse as any to get out of anything semi-unpleasant or good for you.

My advice? Just soak it up. Let it happen. Acknowledge the fact that sometimes you are going to wear a shirt with a stain & cover it up with a scarf and have nothing on your evening agenda but some sweet treats, blankets and a lot of Netflix streaming. It's ok - life is about balance, and sometimes, a couple off-weeks is a part of that balance.

If it were up to me - and I had the energy to go to the store to buy coconut cream & oranges to make sour mix - I would be having coconut margaritas and double chocolate cookies for dinner. Oh the life of a 20-something when she's feeling unmotivated & under the weather...

If perfection isn't achievable anyway, there's no reason we should be trying 24/7 to make it happen. And good thing it isn't, because nights in snuggled on the couch are so necessary.

♥mb.

Therapy.

I get through my hard days by drinking red wine, practicing yoga and reminding myself constantly that distance in miles does not equal distance in heart.

(Really great pasta and hugging a dog never hurt either.)

♥mb.

Right now is on time.

Image Credit: Pinterest

Believe it, ok?

♥mb.

"I love myself"

I made one comment in high school that I will never live down. My friends & I were on our way to Mexico for a home-building mission trip (stucco, anyone?), playing cards before our flight departed from SeaTac. If I remember correctly, it was pretty early in the morning and, I at least, was functioning at about 40% in terms of feeling rested. I can't remember what prompted it, but the following three words escaped my mouth before I realized what I had said done: "I love myself." (In my defense, I meant it mostly as a cut to myself - like "nice going, Meghan." I sooo wish I had chosen different words...)

For the next year of high school and over holiday & summer breaks during college, I never heard the end of it from my high school friends. Even (maybe especially) from people who weren't even there when I said it. I was actually greeted by a chorus of at LEAST 8 people saying those words in unison as I reached the top of the stairs the first day of my senior year of high school.

Aside from the fact that you probably shouldn't proclaim your love for yourself openly to large groups of people, the relationship you have with yourself is bar none the most important relationship you have in your life, and loving yourself is the key to opening so many doors. We spend so much of our time admiring other people and loving them, but if you take some time to look inward & admire the same qualities that you possess, your spirits will be lifted immediately. To realize that you really, truly, ardently love who you are as a human being, has got to be one of the greatest feelings we are capable of feeling. And it really is the one thing that makes loving other people - truly, without conditions - possible.

We are trained to not think this way. That a high opinion of yourself is selfish. Well society, I'm calling "bullshit."As much as I agree that absolutely everything is wrong with being conceited, to genuinely like the person that you are is a gift, and one that makes sharing your light with other people enjoyable and possible. Plus, it's challenging. It's easy to judge other people, but yourself? It's difficult. Because it makes us ask questions of ourselves that aren't always comfortable, implement  changes that might take time. And it will always be a struggle, cyclical, changing. But I promise you - when you reach that point where you truly do love yourself, everything in your life will benefit. Especially your relationships, which if you don't know yet, are the most rewarding part of this life we lead.

And if you are having a moment when this seems like an impossible task, remember that even the most inspiring and incredible among us have times where they feel like the last kid picked for the kickball team. We are human. We aren't anywhere near perfect. We all fail when we should have succeeded. Every human on Earth thinks they really, really suck sometimes. And sometimes we do. But we are both smart & strong enough to overcome that. To dust off the mistakes and feelings of insecurity and come out of the dark shinier, brighter and more beautiful than ever.

Be proud of who you are and love that person with reckless abandon. Take on the challenge of making yourself into someone that, if you were someone else, you couldn't help but want to be around. We all have that in us. All of us.

Happiness breeds more happiness. Don't be afraid to be the catalyst.

♥mb.

Simple truth.

It truly is the people (and the puppies) in this life that make all the difference.


♥mb.

Hydration.

Certain songs sometimes feels like hydration to me. Like water for a very thirsty soul. At the moment, those verses and chords are the one thing you need to feel whole again, renewed and refreshed.

♥mb.

Molting.

Another gem pulled from the days of late 2010/early 2011...something I think all women struggle with. But fear not, beauties. It's all in your head. And if you think the right way, your head can be the difference.


   You can pull off an outfit if you feel comfortable and love ourself in it. I think the same thing applies to our bodies. We can't all look like Miranda Kerr or Blake Lively - but we can all feel awesome in our own skin. So why do most of us want to shed our skin like a snake and get a new one? People don't molt for a reason...we're beautiful as is.

Originally written: January 4th, 2011.

♥mb.

Barefoot.

One of the reasons I love writing so much is going back years later and re-reading the things that I've written. Sometimes I find my past thoughts to be the perfect supplement to whatever I happen to be going through at the time I dust off and crack open an old journal. I did this not too long ago with a journal I wrote often in back in the summer of 2010, and found this poem that I just cannot get past my immense love for.

It's a great reminder to not overcomplicate things - life, at its core, is made up of quite simple emotions. Embrace those and take on the world with the reckless abandon in which true happiness lies. Hope you all enjoy.




The world's on your doorstep
And the front door's wide open
It's waiting for you to find the right shoes
To make your mark

But the thing you forget
Is that your fashion doesn't matter
Stop looking for the perfect fit

All you need is your spirit
And a smile on your face
And a light in your heart
To lift the world with your soul

So leave your heels behind
Throw your sandals under the bed
And run into the blustering winds of this world
And change them

Barefoot.


♥mb.

Redefining Valentine's Day.

I don’t know about you, but I have two dates tonight: one is named "Triple-Chocolate Fatpants Cake" (shout out to my favorite bakery babycakesNYC) and the other "merlot". Or maybe "malbec". I haven't really decided yet. And, if I had a boyfriend, I am pretty confident my night would be pretty much the same, I would just add another date to my list and an extra fork.

This pinky-red, frosting-covered holiday that graces us with its presence every February 14^th usually inspires two very distinct types of outpourings from people (read, GIRLS):

We have #1: the "I am SO in love!-I can't WAIT to see what my honey-buns has in store for me-I am so blissfully happy I might have to call in sick!" people. 

And we have #2: the "omFg if I hear one more person talk about the beautiful flowers they received I'm going to jump off a skyscraper-spending my night alone watching the Notebook on repeat-boys are oxygen-wasting jerk-offs" crowd.

It, in all honesty, is pretty rare to fall outside the scope of one of these two camps come February 14th - it just seems to inspire extremism in one direction or the other. I myself feel rather indifferent toward the holiday - perhaps this has something to do with the fact that during my time in Rome I saw St. Valentine's skull inside a glass case in a Catholic church. (Yes, I have a picture. And also, yes, I have thought every Valentine's Day since then of sending out cards with his lovely portrait on them to all of my single friends.) Romantic, no?

In all seriousness, here is my issue with this holiday that seems more driven by men looking to impress their girlfriends/wives with fancy dinners, beautiful flowers and sparkly jewels than by the desire of people to express their love to their loved ones: it just feels really un-genuine to me. I mean, think about it. Valentine's Day is essentially a day set aside during the year when we are supposed to outwardly show how much we love one another. Um, excuse me but, why isn't that the case every day? Why does there have to be a label to warrant the delivery of special gifts and the giving of thoughtful, handwritten cards? Why limit that to only a day? Grand romantic gestures seem to be much more real to me when carried out on a Wednesday. Not a special Wednesday, just...Wednesday. But then again I am more for subtlety when it comes to romance - it suits me better than planes flying across the sky carrying banners that say "I LOVE YOU!" I'd rather a guy take me in his arms when I am in sweaty lulu clothes after a yoga class, kiss my forehead and tell me I look beautiful then. Yes, I would know he was lying. But I would also know that he meant it. 

Secondly, it seems like people tend to equate Valentine's Day with romantic love and romantic love ONLY. Now maybe this stems from a lifetime of getting presents/cards from my parents on this holiday (a tradition that, yes, still continues today) but I am more of the mindset that we celebrate ALL kinds of love on Valentine's Day. (After all, to limit the idea of love to simply the romantic form would mean there are a lot of single people running around out there with no love in their lives. Which simply is NOT true.) Love can be for a spouse, significant other, new flame, sibling, family, friend, classmate (hello, have we already forgotten about perforated Valentines attached to candy?) pet, cake...all of it. Only a handful of those are romantic, but that doesn’t mean the whole lot of them aren’t just as meaningful. There is a reason that Papyrus (my card brand of choice) has sections of Valentine’s Day cards cordoned off for “Mom”, “Dad”, “Sister”, etc. To me, nothing about a Valentine's Day spent on the couch with your dog drinking beers seems sad. You love your dog, right? And, presumably, you love beer, right? Well then, a very Happy Valentine's Day to you!


This year, and in many years past, I sent my close, single friends Valentines, because I truly believe that friend love is just as important as the romantic variety (if not more, if you're an unattached 20-something like me). And if I am given a specific day that I am instructed by society to express it (something I try to do as often as I can without seeming overemotional, which, by the way, I am) then by jolly geez, I will do it! Everyone loves mail. And even more importantly, everyone loves to hear that they are loved. Everyone doesn't just love it - they deserve it. (Side note: If you are my friend, single & did not receive a Valentine, I apologize for the oversight. If you are my friend & in a happy relationship & still sad I did not think of you, be assured, I did. I just figured your Valentine’s Day would already be filled with love from your honey and I felt compelled to share it with those running around this world unattached.)

So, this February 14th, I choose not to be bitter. I choose not to envy those who are in happy, fulfilling relationships (...much). I choose not to lament old relationships - they were beautiful in their fleeting moment, but I'm not still in them for reasons that make sense now. I choose to (mostly) ignore the dim flicker of hope that someone will come out of woodwork and surprise me with a romantic gesture I never expected (something that I admit to having every Valentine’s Day…I’m a girl. What can I say?). I choose instead to embrace my evenings filled with high-calorie, sugary treats and red wine - it won't always be this way.

After all, in the future, I will have to share. But I have the feeling I won’t mind.

♥mb.

New Years are Refreshing.

After my recent post blasting the importance and significance of New Year’s, I have yet another confession: this year actually does feel different. (But, in my defense, historically this is never something that has happened. Not ONCE! Typically the only thing that feels different is getting my hand used to writing the new date.)

I am certain, of course, that the reason 2012 feels different than 2011 has more to do with changes I began putting in place at the end of the year than the fact that with the turn of the calendar year things magically fell into a better place. But I have to admit, life is a little rosier, and it isn’t just due to the bright red polish on my fingertips (although I’d be lying if I said that didn’t help!)

I finally signed up for French classes, something that has been on my to-do list for years and has often been the subject of my Google searches during an afternoon lull. I feel happier and more fulfilled in many of my relationships – with family, friends and most importantly, myself. I am engaging in more positive self-talk (something I can truly not stress the importance of enough) than I have in a while, and just that alone helps me feel brighter. I’ve already read one book and have started another. My mind is constantly firing a million rounds a minute coming up with new things to try in the kitchen, new activities to engage in and new ways to enjoy the people & things in my life that mean the most to me.

I truly do feel revitalized. Refreshed. Clean. Newly rejuvenated. Ready to take on my life in ways I didn’t previously feel capable of.

My attitude is of great comfort to me – it is proof that despite the world around you and how it may be changing, we truly are rooted in ourselves and as long as that is planted firmly in the ground, we are capable of anything. We will be ok. Defeat almost always begins with unkind words to oneself, but if you garner the ability to filter those negative thoughts you will be blown away by how much more you are able to accept, attempt and create, even if the world around you is shaky.

Be an oasis in your life and for those that you love. Be a fresh drink of water and a shady tree after a long journey in the desert. And know that to be these things, sometimes it only takes a hug. There is no such thing as “too small” when it comes to a gesture of love, friendship, kindness or thankfulness.

Love those around you and love yourself. And more importantly, TELL THEM, every chance you get.

♥mb.

A little advice...

...when in doubt, always choose what is right over what is easy. After all, what is right will usually make things easier in the end.

♥mb.