Old love.

Driving to Santa Barbara a few weekends ago, an iPod shuffle of old-school tunes landed on Owl City's "Hello Seattle". As a result of this song's prescense on the stereo, a random pang of homesickness hit my soul like a wrecking ball and I burst into tears as my sister explained to me that she loved listening to this song as she drove across I-90 and the city skyline slowly came into focus. And I just couldn't handle it - I had to change the song and fully grasp that what I was feeling at that moment was something I hadn't felt in MONTHS.

Ever since my parents sold their house in October of 2012, Southern California has been home. The second my plane hit the Tarmac after moving the last thing from that place, something in the cosmos shifted and I suddenly knew that Seattle wasn't my home anymore. This place was. And I was honestly at a point in my journey where that made sense and felt right.

Now, I will be the first one to tell you that I rag on my old hometown. All. The. Time.

I sometimes feel a little guilty - like I'm saying unkind things behind a good friend's back, like in saying "I'm never moving back" I am somehow directly hurting the collective feelings of the Pacific Northwest. It's no secret - I am head over heels for Southern California. But this last time back, walking to a friend's apartment on picturesque Queen Anne hill, the Space Needle peeked out from between the trees and I felt something I can only explain in terms of a romantic relationship.

California is new and exciting. A place that came into my life a bit later and bewitched me, body and soul. I fall in love with it all over again with every new adventure and I couldn't bear to be separated from it. It sets my soul on fire in a way that no place ever has and no place ever will. I'm staying for the long haul - and coming from someone who always used to speak so non-committally about where I would end up, this is a pretty big submission.

But Seattle? Seattle is my first love. The city that was there for me when I went through the perils of being a teenager; the backdrop for my college years and the place where most of my best friends came into my life. It will always be familiar and comfortable, but we're just too different to ever make it work. But just because I recognize that doesn't mean I will ever stop loving it. Coming back into its open embrace will forever feel like the biggest and best bear hug. No matter what life throws at me, a part of my heart will always love it and being here will always stir up those emotions that make me feel like I'm home.

This line from the Macklemore song "The Town" sums up my feelings more effectively and more beautifully than I could ever hope to do:

The skyline is etched in my veins

You can never put that out

No matter how hard it rains

(Photo courtesy of etsy)

Seattle will always be there for me. And I couldn't be more thankful for that.

♥mb.