Battles.

Everyone fights them. With themselves, with others, with ideas of how they should be. A person doesn’t have to be wearing a government issued uniform to be fighting a war – and whereas emotional battles don’t end in bullet wounds and medics, they certainly do leave scars. We are all essentially emotional warriors, going into battle with the things that make us insecure, uncomfortable and in the end, stronger.

A couple months ago I overheard an interesting conversation in the women’s restroom at my favorite local Mexican place. A young girl was crying to someone who appeared to be her mother – not all that uncommon a sight in a girls bathroom, (especially if you have ever overheard a crying conversation at a bar right before last call…) The subject of this girl’s apparent breakdown alluded me as I eavesdropped (yes, I admit, this is something I rather enjoy) until I heard something very surprising come out of her mouth “They just think I’m too skinny, I don’t want to be this skinny!”

I mentally paused…was this girl seriously complaining about being TOO skinny? Considering that the desire to be skinny has created billions of dollars’ worth of industry, the fact that someone would complain about the fact that they couldn’t gain weight seemed absolutely absurd to me. Especially having dealt with my own fair share of body image issues, I wanted to go out there and smack her right across her tear-stained face. Did she realize all the things she could wear that I couldn’t? Did she think about the fact that millions of women struggle to lose weight every day? And this just happened to her naturally?

I thought about saying something to her, being that kind voice of objectivity that can only be achieved and listened to when heard from a complete stranger. I contemplated telling her that she shouldn’t listen to what other people thought, that no one should ever cry because someone else made them do so, that most of it was probably in her head…and then I realized that wow, I sure needed to take my own advice didn’t I?

Whether you think you are too skinny, too fat, too smart, too shy, too (insert adjective here), a. you are probably wrong and b. stop thinking that. Our greatest strengths often stem from our greatest weaknesses, and all that needs to change is the perspective, not you.

Being happy shouldn’t be about conditions. (In fact, if you ask me, conditions are the root of unhappiness.) It should be about embracing your blessings, loving yourself for the good parts about you and acknowledging your faults as you would nod your head at an adversary seated across from you at a dining table, showing them that you recognize them and have learned to live with their constant presence despite your distaste for their being.

Happy doesn’t equal perfect. It never has, and it never will. So stop trying to achieve perfection. Or change your definition of perfect to include all the little mishaps that make life interesting.

♥mb.