Feel vs. Look

When it comes to health and body image, I personally feel like there are two very separate buckets that most people (especially women) typically fall under: those who care more about how they feel and those who care more about how they look. I don't necessarily believe that the two are mutually exclusive, but it seems to me that people usually tip more heavily into one direction if both are a consideration.

In recent years, especially after the discovery of my food allergies, I definteily fall into the "feel" bucket. Of course, if I feel great and my jeans won't zip up, that is a problem. The lucky part is, in my experience, the focus on the "feel" part of the scenario usually ends well for the "look" category. I will admit that in the weeks leading up to my cousin's (sister's) wedding I was eating salads with a much higher frequency than normal (I mean, my future kids are going to see judge me based on those pictures!) but I am most definitely not the type of girl who would sip lemonade spiked with cayenne pepper and maple syrup to fit into a dress that is likely a size too small to begin with. (Size is just a number anyway - does it really matter if you are wearing an 8 vs. a 6? Who is honestly going to know??)

The advantage of falling under the "feel" umbrella is that your propensity for self-love increases ten-fold. If you spend your life and your time focusing on the way you look in the mirror, your inner self will suffer. Not only will you be prone to insecurity, but you will also make insufficient nutritional choices for your body, or as I like to think of it as, the very thing that lets you live your life. In not giving it what it needs (and constantly bombarding it with negative thoughts) you are essentially turning against your life force. And if you ask me, you only live once - you aren't going to remember the guilt you felt after eating a piece of chocolate cake on your death bed. So why are you spending so much time worrying about it right now?

I am of course also not making the point that it is "vain" or "superficial" to care about how you look. Everyone cares about how they look. It's natural. Caring about how you look is a part of self-respect. But it's when you let your personal mantra slip to more of the "look" side of the body image scale that things start to get complicated. That's when things like eating disorders set in - after years and years of mentally pounding your body for not being perfect, your mind gains the propensity to convince itself that eating isn't important. Or that self-mutilation is. Nothing happens overnight - I am not suggesting that if you have a "fat day" you are suddenly flying off the handle into unhealthy territory. You aren't human if you don't have a day like that.

My simple wish for America (especially for young women) is that the focus on the body would shift from the outside to the inside. Instead of asking things like "what can I do to make my thighs less fat?" we should be praising our hearts for pumping blood, our muscles for allowing us to walk, run, play and live, and most importantly, checking in with ourselves emotionally and making sure that everything is ok there. And if it isn't? Exercise. Hot tea. Reading. Watching a favorite movie. Find the things that give you happiness and exploit the hell out of them when you need them. After all, that is why they are there.

I have grown to accept the fact that I will never look like a Victoria Secret angel. The Victoria Secret angels don't even look like Victoria Secret angels most of the time - some of the models don't even drink liquids 12 hours prior to the show (that includes things with no calories like tea and water, by the way). I'm sorry, but that is just a little too extreme for me.

As I like to say, a piece of cake might not make you skinny, but it will sure as hell make you happy. Living life in fear of the consequences that food will have on your body is no way to live. Food exists to be enjoyed and savored, yes, in moderation, but in some respect all things aside.

Give it up. Let it go. Shift your focus. Care about your health more than your weight. A lower number on the scale doesn't mean you will live longer. And guess what else? "Skinny" doesn't always equal "healthy". If you didn't already know this, muscle weighs more than fat. Maintain a state of being where you fall nicely in the balance of the "look" and "feel" approach. I think you will be happy where it lands you, both on the outside and the inside.

If you care more about the way you feel, you will eat better, think more positvely, excercise more responsibly (endorphins, yay!) and not encounter the kinds of health problems so many people suffer from due to self-neglect in one respect or another.

All that said, don't let that your new focus stop you from binge eating cookies every once in a while. Everything in life is about balance, and binge eating cookies is just sometimes a part of that balance.

♥mb.