New Years are Refreshing.

After my recent post blasting the importance and significance of New Year’s, I have yet another confession: this year actually does feel different. (But, in my defense, historically this is never something that has happened. Not ONCE! Typically the only thing that feels different is getting my hand used to writing the new date.)

I am certain, of course, that the reason 2012 feels different than 2011 has more to do with changes I began putting in place at the end of the year than the fact that with the turn of the calendar year things magically fell into a better place. But I have to admit, life is a little rosier, and it isn’t just due to the bright red polish on my fingertips (although I’d be lying if I said that didn’t help!)

I finally signed up for French classes, something that has been on my to-do list for years and has often been the subject of my Google searches during an afternoon lull. I feel happier and more fulfilled in many of my relationships – with family, friends and most importantly, myself. I am engaging in more positive self-talk (something I can truly not stress the importance of enough) than I have in a while, and just that alone helps me feel brighter. I’ve already read one book and have started another. My mind is constantly firing a million rounds a minute coming up with new things to try in the kitchen, new activities to engage in and new ways to enjoy the people & things in my life that mean the most to me.

I truly do feel revitalized. Refreshed. Clean. Newly rejuvenated. Ready to take on my life in ways I didn’t previously feel capable of.

My attitude is of great comfort to me – it is proof that despite the world around you and how it may be changing, we truly are rooted in ourselves and as long as that is planted firmly in the ground, we are capable of anything. We will be ok. Defeat almost always begins with unkind words to oneself, but if you garner the ability to filter those negative thoughts you will be blown away by how much more you are able to accept, attempt and create, even if the world around you is shaky.

Be an oasis in your life and for those that you love. Be a fresh drink of water and a shady tree after a long journey in the desert. And know that to be these things, sometimes it only takes a hug. There is no such thing as “too small” when it comes to a gesture of love, friendship, kindness or thankfulness.

Love those around you and love yourself. And more importantly, TELL THEM, every chance you get.

♥mb.

A little advice...

...when in doubt, always choose what is right over what is easy. After all, what is right will usually make things easier in the end.

♥mb.

Resolutions.

Ok, confession: I hate New Year’s Eve. I would really prefer if we could just fast forward through December 31^st every year (if this is your birthday, I apologize, but can we just have cake on January 1^st?) I think the only reason that I ever end up out on New Year’s Eve instead of spending the night at home watching movies in my PJs is that society dictates that I deck myself out in glitter and drink too much champagne – given that sparkles and bubbly happen to occupy the top of my favorites list at any time of year, I have usually been happy to oblige.

And so, I find myself every NYE (I hate that abbreviation too, by the way) counting down the seconds until midnight, toasting with whoever I happen to be celebrating with, and then coming down with the sudden realization that I feel absolutely not different at 12:01 on January 1^st than I felt at 11:59 December 31^st. There is so much stigma surrounding the New Year – it’s as if popular culture wants us to believe that every turn of the calendar year, we are reborn into the person we have always wished to be. That somehow, the minute and hour hand aligning on the clock transforms us into gym addicted, healthy eating people who call our friends and parents more.

But guess what? That isn’t how it works. Every January, we switch our mindsets from overindulging to abstaining, from sitting on the couch to signing up for yoga classes, from stocking our pantries with chips & snacks to dried fruit and granola bars. And how often do these so called “New Year’s Resolutions” stick? Well friends, there is a reason that more treadmills are occupied the first week of January than the end of March – they don’t.

They don’t, anyway, for people who place all the emphasis on the fact that this is something they are changing for the New Year, the blank slate, the renewed opportunity to reach goals previously not met. Once people realize that, as with anything worth attaining, the milestones they have set for themselves are “hard” (go figure) many “fall off the wagon” and regress into their couch potato, junk food eating former selves. So this is my question: Why do things need to be designated as “Resolutions for the New Year” when it is so much more fulfilling to change them into “Resolutions for the New You”?

I don’t like the fact that there is a time of year roped off to think about and act on how to better ourselves. Why should this only be the focus one time of year? You want to read more books? Do it. Want to teach yoga? Start training. Don’t wait for a societal cue to set your personal  goals in motion. In my opinion, goals made specifically for you, by you and BECAUSE of you are the ones you will most passionately pursue – and the ones that will stick once everyone else decides it’s not worth it. Goals, in their basic state, are organic, real and raw – I feel like they lose some of their natural luster when set in the name of a trend.

If you only think about bettering yourself as December comes to a close, you are not realizing your full potential. Human beings are masterpieces in constant work throughout their entire life, and, due to human nature, are rarely 100% satisfied with their current state. This New Year’s Eve, I strongly encourage you to take a step back and look at your life with an objective lens – if you don’t set foot in a gym until February, that isn’t grounds for giving up. Just change your perspective from “New Year’s Resolution to work out more in 2012” to “get healthier for life”. No time stamp, no label. You will feel less defeated, more motivated, and your chances of achieving your end goal will skyrocket. You will feel inspired.

If I had my way, I would be spending December 31^st on a beach next to a bonfire, wearing an old crewneck sweatshirt, flip flops, wrapped in blankets and drinking beers (gluten free, of course!). I wouldn’t even realize that midnight had come and passed. I would just know I was having a great time on Saturday, enjoying one of my favorite things about my new home: close proximity to saltwater.

As far as New Year’s Resolutions? The same goals I had for myself every day in 2011 – be healthy, massage my intellectual side, and be kind to myself and others. Also, laughter. Lots and lots of that.

♥mb.

Battles.

Everyone fights them. With themselves, with others, with ideas of how they should be. A person doesn’t have to be wearing a government issued uniform to be fighting a war – and whereas emotional battles don’t end in bullet wounds and medics, they certainly do leave scars. We are all essentially emotional warriors, going into battle with the things that make us insecure, uncomfortable and in the end, stronger.

A couple months ago I overheard an interesting conversation in the women’s restroom at my favorite local Mexican place. A young girl was crying to someone who appeared to be her mother – not all that uncommon a sight in a girls bathroom, (especially if you have ever overheard a crying conversation at a bar right before last call…) The subject of this girl’s apparent breakdown alluded me as I eavesdropped (yes, I admit, this is something I rather enjoy) until I heard something very surprising come out of her mouth “They just think I’m too skinny, I don’t want to be this skinny!”

I mentally paused…was this girl seriously complaining about being TOO skinny? Considering that the desire to be skinny has created billions of dollars’ worth of industry, the fact that someone would complain about the fact that they couldn’t gain weight seemed absolutely absurd to me. Especially having dealt with my own fair share of body image issues, I wanted to go out there and smack her right across her tear-stained face. Did she realize all the things she could wear that I couldn’t? Did she think about the fact that millions of women struggle to lose weight every day? And this just happened to her naturally?

I thought about saying something to her, being that kind voice of objectivity that can only be achieved and listened to when heard from a complete stranger. I contemplated telling her that she shouldn’t listen to what other people thought, that no one should ever cry because someone else made them do so, that most of it was probably in her head…and then I realized that wow, I sure needed to take my own advice didn’t I?

Whether you think you are too skinny, too fat, too smart, too shy, too (insert adjective here), a. you are probably wrong and b. stop thinking that. Our greatest strengths often stem from our greatest weaknesses, and all that needs to change is the perspective, not you.

Being happy shouldn’t be about conditions. (In fact, if you ask me, conditions are the root of unhappiness.) It should be about embracing your blessings, loving yourself for the good parts about you and acknowledging your faults as you would nod your head at an adversary seated across from you at a dining table, showing them that you recognize them and have learned to live with their constant presence despite your distaste for their being.

Happy doesn’t equal perfect. It never has, and it never will. So stop trying to achieve perfection. Or change your definition of perfect to include all the little mishaps that make life interesting.

♥mb.

Things I Can't Live Without...Black Tea with Lemon

In college, I spent 2 and a half weeks at the end of summer doing a short study abroad trip in Ireland. It was probably one of the busiest 15 days of my life, in the best possible sense. The days were filled with touring and business visits (the subject of the trip was how the Irish economy had gone from third world to world power in a matter of years, interestingly enough this trip was in 2008, right before the huge financial crises that was felt around the globe...) and the nights were filled with too much Guinness and Jameson (again, in the best possible sense.) At the end of the trip, a sorority sister & I galavanted off to Paris (oh, the beauty of European travel!) where we stayed in a charming little hotel for our short stay.

Paris was an amazing breath of fresh air after the busyness that had been moving hotels every 2-3 days back in Ireland and trekking the country - literally - from end to end on a bus that barely seemed to fit on the winding coastal highways. Instead of being rushed around from location to location, we had the opportunity to make our own schedule, sample the best of Parisian pastries & french pressed espresso on the Champs-Élysées and eat crepes across the street from the Eiffel Tower as it sparkled at night (this was in the pre-gluten free days, so crepes were a daily must, along with about 5 pain au chocolats). At the end of each liesurely sightseeing day, we retreated to our hotel room and ordered hot tea. It just seemed European and quite lovely.

Each night, they brought a teapot and 2 teacups with lemon slices in them.  My days as a tea drinking afficinado did not develop until much later, and this was something I had never seen before - sure, a slice of the yellow fruit usually accompanied iced tea, but have you ever seen anywhere in America serve hot tea the same way? I surely hadn't. I soon learned that black tea poured over a slice of lemon is surely one of the most comforting and delightful ways to enjoy a cup of tea. Being a person who never adds sugar to my tea (literally, never) I enjoyed the subtle flavor that the citrus added to my hot beverage. It was undoubetdly a great thing to enjoy while resting tired feet from a day spent walking around one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

 my favorite photo I took of the Eiffel Tower. literally, I think it's the most goregous thing I have ever seen.

© meghan brittany. 

This is something that I still enjoy doing today. If for nothing else than the moment of time travel it seems to elicit - a sip brings back vivid memories of walking on bridges over the River Seine and oggling over paintings I had only admired on the pages of books at the Musee D'Orsay. I truly left a part of me in Paris and my heart flutters at the thought of getting to return there someday for much longer than 3 days and nights.

But, in the meantime, everytime I brew up a spot of tea and slice a lemon into my awaiting mug, I smile at the fact that I picked up this habit in one of my favorite places I have ever visited.

♥mb.

Feel vs. Look

When it comes to health and body image, I personally feel like there are two very separate buckets that most people (especially women) typically fall under: those who care more about how they feel and those who care more about how they look. I don't necessarily believe that the two are mutually exclusive, but it seems to me that people usually tip more heavily into one direction if both are a consideration.

In recent years, especially after the discovery of my food allergies, I definteily fall into the "feel" bucket. Of course, if I feel great and my jeans won't zip up, that is a problem. The lucky part is, in my experience, the focus on the "feel" part of the scenario usually ends well for the "look" category. I will admit that in the weeks leading up to my cousin's (sister's) wedding I was eating salads with a much higher frequency than normal (I mean, my future kids are going to see judge me based on those pictures!) but I am most definitely not the type of girl who would sip lemonade spiked with cayenne pepper and maple syrup to fit into a dress that is likely a size too small to begin with. (Size is just a number anyway - does it really matter if you are wearing an 8 vs. a 6? Who is honestly going to know??)

The advantage of falling under the "feel" umbrella is that your propensity for self-love increases ten-fold. If you spend your life and your time focusing on the way you look in the mirror, your inner self will suffer. Not only will you be prone to insecurity, but you will also make insufficient nutritional choices for your body, or as I like to think of it as, the very thing that lets you live your life. In not giving it what it needs (and constantly bombarding it with negative thoughts) you are essentially turning against your life force. And if you ask me, you only live once - you aren't going to remember the guilt you felt after eating a piece of chocolate cake on your death bed. So why are you spending so much time worrying about it right now?

I am of course also not making the point that it is "vain" or "superficial" to care about how you look. Everyone cares about how they look. It's natural. Caring about how you look is a part of self-respect. But it's when you let your personal mantra slip to more of the "look" side of the body image scale that things start to get complicated. That's when things like eating disorders set in - after years and years of mentally pounding your body for not being perfect, your mind gains the propensity to convince itself that eating isn't important. Or that self-mutilation is. Nothing happens overnight - I am not suggesting that if you have a "fat day" you are suddenly flying off the handle into unhealthy territory. You aren't human if you don't have a day like that.

My simple wish for America (especially for young women) is that the focus on the body would shift from the outside to the inside. Instead of asking things like "what can I do to make my thighs less fat?" we should be praising our hearts for pumping blood, our muscles for allowing us to walk, run, play and live, and most importantly, checking in with ourselves emotionally and making sure that everything is ok there. And if it isn't? Exercise. Hot tea. Reading. Watching a favorite movie. Find the things that give you happiness and exploit the hell out of them when you need them. After all, that is why they are there.

I have grown to accept the fact that I will never look like a Victoria Secret angel. The Victoria Secret angels don't even look like Victoria Secret angels most of the time - some of the models don't even drink liquids 12 hours prior to the show (that includes things with no calories like tea and water, by the way). I'm sorry, but that is just a little too extreme for me.

As I like to say, a piece of cake might not make you skinny, but it will sure as hell make you happy. Living life in fear of the consequences that food will have on your body is no way to live. Food exists to be enjoyed and savored, yes, in moderation, but in some respect all things aside.

Give it up. Let it go. Shift your focus. Care about your health more than your weight. A lower number on the scale doesn't mean you will live longer. And guess what else? "Skinny" doesn't always equal "healthy". If you didn't already know this, muscle weighs more than fat. Maintain a state of being where you fall nicely in the balance of the "look" and "feel" approach. I think you will be happy where it lands you, both on the outside and the inside.

If you care more about the way you feel, you will eat better, think more positvely, excercise more responsibly (endorphins, yay!) and not encounter the kinds of health problems so many people suffer from due to self-neglect in one respect or another.

All that said, don't let that your new focus stop you from binge eating cookies every once in a while. Everything in life is about balance, and binge eating cookies is just sometimes a part of that balance.

♥mb.

Life is short...

...eat dessert first.

(Or just eat dessert. No one judgement here if your dinner consists more of sugar than the better parts of the food pyramid.)

♥mb.